Valentine's Day: An Experienced Girl's View

So Valentine's Day is tomorrow.

Yep.

(staring off into space)

Oh, you wanted more than that? Ok then....

Once upon a time, I was deep into this day. I planned, I bought things, I put in the work, I tapped into that gooey center beneath my somewhat hard outer shell and got deep into the day devoted to love. Then... well... stuff happened..... and lets just say over the course of many years, it just became another day on the calendar.

Don't get me wrong, that gooey center is still there, and it always will be. It's reason why I cherished (and still have) every Valentine my baby girl every made (or bought) for me. It's the reason that I tell, and show, the people in my life that I love them and that they matter to me, all the time. It''s the reason I don't throw people away, and make a point to spend time with them.

But let's be real - Valentine's Day is really about couples. And I haven't been a part of that in a while.

Those close to me know (and now you will too) that I chose to go off the dating grid for about 5-6 years. Let's just say that some needed introspection needed to be done and changes implemented. But I've been resurfacing slowly over the last few years, with a different set of eyes and perspective. So I've spent some time as an observer of couples and relationships, especially around this time of year. Interestingly enough, I've found that a significant amount of couples don't do ANYthing on February 14th.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip.

"Not even a card?" I've asked. Nope. "How about just a pizza, some wine, and renting a movie?" I've asked. Nah. One guy actually said "We've been married for 26 year; we don't do that stuff."

Wow. So this guy's gestures of love have an expiration date, it seems. My sympathies to his wife. But all in all, I find this stance kinda..... weird, really. Is this representative of a culture that takes being in a relationship for granted? That would certainly be a shame, for so many reasons, if that's the case. Or is it more of a reflection of the pressure of the day to do something grand? If so, guys - as a woman, I can tell you that it doesn't take much. Or at least, it shouldn't.

The best Valentine's Day I ever had was in 2003. It had been a few months since I'd broken up with the boyfriend at the time, and was planning on just hunkering down and ignoring the day. I was sitting at my cubicle at work, when suddenly my dear friend Louie appeared, standing there with his big happy smile.... and a single red rose.

I said "Oh my gosh, what's this?" He said "Kathy (his wife and my best friend) and I just wanted you to know that we love you." I hugged and thanked him, and happily took my rose. I think I smiled the rest of the day.

It was unexpected. It was simple. It was just simply, love.

I still have that rose. I dried it, treated it with a protective spray, and it sits under a picture of Louie. You see, he died suddenly, 6 years later. He took with him his awesome laugh, his generous nature, his musical genius, a piece of his wife's heart (all of our hearts, really), and any future unexpected and thoughtful gestures of love.

So from my view point of experiences, what I want to say to you, and to those couples who put expiration dates on displays of love and affection, who dismiss the day altogether, or who just forget to show their love, don't take a single day for granted. Tomorrow isn't promised. Don't ignore, don't hesitate. Make an effort, no matter how small, on Valentine's Day and every day to let them know they matter.

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you. (See? Gooey center ;-) )