So I came down with some nasty ass bug Monday night. Your basic sinus nightmare complete with a low grade fever and lots of snot. Tuesday night I was semi-comatose on the sofa, too dazed and drained to do much else other than mindlessly watch tv. In fact, I reached a place where I was just too tired and out of it to even change the channel.
And then it happened.
And by "it" I mean the barrage of what can only be desscribed as white trash for the new decade. Suddendly an outpouring of big hair, fake tans, steriod created muscles, acrylic nails, hair gel, gold chains, over use of the word "bitch", and more Ed Hardy tshirts than you could ever want or wear spilled out of my tv, onto my floor, and assaulted my ears and eyes.
I'd been Jersey Shored.
I couldn't believe it. I'd heard about it of course; the inexpicable phenom that the show and cast have become, being famous for being tacky stereotypes of New York/New Jersey Italians. I'd just never experienced it. I felt like I was witnessing a train wreck, or a mugging, or a dog playing poker - I was freaked out but just couldn't look away.
Fortunately my daughter came in to the room. She looked at the tv, looked at me, then back at the tv, then back at me. A smile crept over her face, clearly bemused at this scenario. I turned to her and said, "Please, for the love of God, change this channel." And mercifully, she did.
I'm still nursing some syptoms of my illness. I blame Jersey Shore. I think being exposed to so much skank and douche prolonged my recovery.
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