The Epitome of Weirdness

Let me just get this out of the way first:

I love WalMart.

I do. It's my "go to" store for just about everything from bottled water to telephones; mascara to rain ponchos; laundry detergent to TV's. It can be akin to a kind of therapy for me sometimes. Lots and lots of aisles to get lost in, various goods and sundries to contemplate. And we all know we'd be hard pressed to beat their prices.

The only issues I have with WalMart is..... the other people that shop there. And maybe? Most of the employees.

Never, ever once have I been in WalMart where I haven't encountered the following:

- some one still sporting a mullet
- a dirty, screaming child
- adults with missing teeth
- some one paying with a just-cashed settlement/Welfare/unemployment check
- the morbidly obese
- the fatally stupid
- various assortments of what can only be described as mouth breathers and window lickers

And I've been in lots of WalMart's and Super WalMart's here in MD, PA, and FL - trust me, it's all the same.

Now, of course I realize that we're all God's creatures and yadda yadda yadda, but ok really? Look in a mirror, people. Discipline (and bathe) your kid(s). Visit a salon. Put down the chili cheese dog. Read a book. These are not hard tasks, nor foreign concepts. I manage to do them, as do all the people in my life. And we're not a bunch of rocket scientists or brain surgeons.

Look, all I'm sayin' is that when there is a website dedicated to the weirdness that WalMart attracts, clearly I'm not the only one who is noticing:

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

You don't see this shit at Target. I'm just sayin'.

Here's what I'd like to see - "T" shopping hours at WalMart. No one else, just me. And one employee working the floor, who I will hand pick. And one cashier, who I will also hand pick. That would be heaven on earth for me. And if I can't have that, I'd like to see some dental plans put to work, some pants pulled up to their proper location (i.e. above the ass crack, and/or Lady Business), and people not blocking the snack/chip aisle who really shouldn't be in that aisle to begin with. Because I'm telling you, the next kid I see acting like a poo flinging monkey up in my WalMart, will be sorry.

Film at 11:00.